In the OP this week

A silly opinion piece by me that was published in The Other Press this week:

Pull the Plug

I find that the more time I spend at Douglas College, the more my resentment grows towards fluorescent light tubes. Glaring down from their parallel fixtures, they force harsh artificial light onto the students below. These lights are ruthless and unflattering, and like rows of soldiers with an ominous purpose they crush the attempts of personal beauty the occupants of their room have tried to conjure. Highlighting imperfections the students thought that they had hidden, the fluorescent tubes of terror prove that resistance is futile against such a secretly malignant, yet inescapable, force.
Perhaps it would not be so bad if the lights in one classroom were consistent. But instead, in any chosen room staff and students will find that different tubes emit a different shade of sickness. Take room 3343 in New West for example. A brighter, more yellow sheen is produced on the left side of the room, which gives any unsuspecting student a lovely aura of jaundice. Yet, on the right, a pinker hue awaits its victims, and with it the false appearance of facial rosacea.
With all this built up resentment towards this specific light source, one may think that I would wish them all an untimely end. However, considering that the lights are all shielded by a protective layer, (no doubt to save them from folk like me), the only other way to defeat them would be to wait until they burn out on their own. But that too poses no resolution, as fluorescent light tubes do not die without a fight. You will never see a tube succumb to old age peacefully, and they will flicker with protest for weeks and months. Not satisfied after a life of harshening features and offering eye-sore induced headaches, the incessant random strobe light effect of an expiring fluorescent will try to take the unfortunate people below with it by annoying them to suicide. Sadly, the fluorescent tube is here to stay, our indoor, electrical society ensuring its survival. And as our dependence on artificially manufactured elements shines brighter, it brings to mind how we will never have a lighting chance against them.