Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Golfing for the first time
I had lived in 100 Mile House for four months and managed to avoid picking up a single golf club.
I had never golfed before, well, besides mini golf and beer at Castle Fun Park in Abbotsford; but I was told that didn’t count.
100 Mile is a golf town; succumbing to pressure, I decided to give it a try — and the Crime Stoppers tourney at the 108 on Sept. 14 seemed the perfect opportunity. All I needed was the most patient person in the world to volunteer his or her golf expertise and time to my cause; I found that person in Val Nickless.
Val was nice enough to not only volunteer her time, but also her clubs.
As an avid golfer, I understood what a possible sacrifice this was for Val and I vowed to treat her clubs as the precious pieces they were; but what I was really excited about was driving the cart.
When I helped Val lug her golf bag onto the cart, I was slightly intimidated with the amount of clubs sticking out of the top.
“I only brought half of my clubs,” said Val.
I got into the driver’s seat of the cart and pressed the gas pedal. Its lawnmower-like engine whirred to life and we took off to the number 10 hole, where I would be starting.
At the 10, Val handed me a ball and a handful of tees. She told me to grab the number five club and showed me how to hold and swing the thing.
The stance I took felt awkward; my first practice swing left much to be desired. But when the club made contact with the ball and sent it flying straight out onto the fairway, I couldn’t help but feel a small sense of satisfaction.
I also realized how one could twist his or her body up while playing; and here I had been laughing at Tiger Woods for giving up last season to injury.
As much as I loved driving the cart, I found myself running after the ball more times than riding and was beginning to work up an appetite — by the second green.
My shots weren’t all that bad, commented Val. And, lucky for me, she kept me from making golf faux pas, like using a nine club when I needed a putter, shoving my club in the ball washer or running over other players with the cart.
But, a few greens later, my famine faded to fatigue under the low September sun and my shots started to go astray.
Somehow, though, I managed to stay on the fairway the entire round and ended with a nine-hole score of 76, owed all to my caddie and coach.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Almost There
Her mind was a thoroughly erased blackboard, one
without even a smattering of chalk dust
around its edges. Waves of sleep were beginning
to cascade through her and her face relaxed,
her body reverting to its resting position
without thought.
If a black can become blacker, her mind was creating the shade;
her brain was devoid of thought and feeling. Sleep
would finally allow her through
its elite gates. She had waited so long…
That’s when she felt it: A nudge on her left shoulder.
Her arm twitched, and her brain flickered,
but the rest of her did little
to react to the movement. And that’s when
she felt it again, the hard edges of the spine scraping
across her shoulder, up to her neck. Suddenly
her mind was letting in thoughts,
allowing them to scrawl themselves across
her imagination. She clenched her eyes shut, determined.
Her face became taut.
“Not again,” she whispered
into her increasingly uncomfortable pillow.
And then a page dragged across her face,
leaving a stinging line of blood in its wake.
“But I’m so close!” she yelled, her words
filling her crowding brain
as they echoed in the empty room.
Her bed may have well become a cutlery drawer,
and she shifted and turned
on the now unbearable mattress.
“All right!” she said at last,
reaching for the small light switch above the bed nightstand.
“Just one more chapter!”
The book had won again.
without even a smattering of chalk dust
around its edges. Waves of sleep were beginning
to cascade through her and her face relaxed,
her body reverting to its resting position
without thought.
If a black can become blacker, her mind was creating the shade;
her brain was devoid of thought and feeling. Sleep
would finally allow her through
its elite gates. She had waited so long…
That’s when she felt it: A nudge on her left shoulder.
Her arm twitched, and her brain flickered,
but the rest of her did little
to react to the movement. And that’s when
she felt it again, the hard edges of the spine scraping
across her shoulder, up to her neck. Suddenly
her mind was letting in thoughts,
allowing them to scrawl themselves across
her imagination. She clenched her eyes shut, determined.
Her face became taut.
“Not again,” she whispered
into her increasingly uncomfortable pillow.
And then a page dragged across her face,
leaving a stinging line of blood in its wake.
“But I’m so close!” she yelled, her words
filling her crowding brain
as they echoed in the empty room.
Her bed may have well become a cutlery drawer,
and she shifted and turned
on the now unbearable mattress.
“All right!” she said at last,
reaching for the small light switch above the bed nightstand.
“Just one more chapter!”
The book had won again.
I am
If I could cease the picking of my canvas scabs
with my paintbrush,
then I wouldn’t be an artist.
If I could stop scratching the itch of scrawl and script,
then I would not be a writer.
If my hunger for flesh
was ever satisfied,
then I would not be a lover.
And if I could snuff the fury
that burns acres of anger within me,
then I would not be a warrior.
with my paintbrush,
then I wouldn’t be an artist.
If I could stop scratching the itch of scrawl and script,
then I would not be a writer.
If my hunger for flesh
was ever satisfied,
then I would not be a lover.
And if I could snuff the fury
that burns acres of anger within me,
then I would not be a warrior.
Climate change may not mean warming
Published in the Sept. 21 issue of the 100 Mile Free Press:
http://www.bclocalnews.com/bc_cariboo/100milefreepress/
Once people got past the initial alarming hoopla surround climate change,
some British Columbians tried to see a silver lining.
With all the blame focused on global warming for problems like the spread of the pine beetle and the potential drowning of the city of Richmond, some thought, “Well, at least there will be more sunny days.”
But with unseasonably cool temperatures, residents are starting to wonder whether the tropical paradise they thought climate change would bring is actually a potential arctic nightmare.
But maybe that’s what people need to wake up to the problem; if the threat of heat didn’t cause them to make personal, environmentally-friendly changes than perhaps the prospect of being banished into an eternal ice prison will.
Driving an older, unkempt car is frowned upon now because of its heavy carbon output; but those same people who object to gas-guzzling vehicles drive gas-powered mowers around their lawns and leave their vehicles running while they run into convenience stores. Essentially, they make up for it.
Political leaders don’t offer the best example of green living, either; the amount of travelling they do just for photo ops could be halted and the resulting energy saved could probably bring down the price of gas by 10 cents.
And now, with election campaigning, office helpfuls and hopefuls will be offering more carbon into the atmosphere than their speeches do in office.
But stopping the spread of Yukon-like weather is only half the incentive.
Usually things good for the environment go hand-in-hand with things good for a person’s health: cycling, using push mowers and avoiding fast-food drive-thrus.
Hopefully, with all the ominous problems climate change threatens us with, there will be positive change for people as a whole.
Perhaps obesity levels will go down with the increase in forced physical activity; maybe air quality will improve and asthma incidents will decrease.
For those inland, more frequent frost may be a better motivator than fun-in-the-sun.
Of course, the opposite might be true for those on the coast — especially for those who can’t swim.
http://www.bclocalnews.com/bc_cariboo/100milefreepress/
Once people got past the initial alarming hoopla surround climate change,
some British Columbians tried to see a silver lining.
With all the blame focused on global warming for problems like the spread of the pine beetle and the potential drowning of the city of Richmond, some thought, “Well, at least there will be more sunny days.”
But with unseasonably cool temperatures, residents are starting to wonder whether the tropical paradise they thought climate change would bring is actually a potential arctic nightmare.
But maybe that’s what people need to wake up to the problem; if the threat of heat didn’t cause them to make personal, environmentally-friendly changes than perhaps the prospect of being banished into an eternal ice prison will.
Driving an older, unkempt car is frowned upon now because of its heavy carbon output; but those same people who object to gas-guzzling vehicles drive gas-powered mowers around their lawns and leave their vehicles running while they run into convenience stores. Essentially, they make up for it.
Political leaders don’t offer the best example of green living, either; the amount of travelling they do just for photo ops could be halted and the resulting energy saved could probably bring down the price of gas by 10 cents.
And now, with election campaigning, office helpfuls and hopefuls will be offering more carbon into the atmosphere than their speeches do in office.
But stopping the spread of Yukon-like weather is only half the incentive.
Usually things good for the environment go hand-in-hand with things good for a person’s health: cycling, using push mowers and avoiding fast-food drive-thrus.
Hopefully, with all the ominous problems climate change threatens us with, there will be positive change for people as a whole.
Perhaps obesity levels will go down with the increase in forced physical activity; maybe air quality will improve and asthma incidents will decrease.
For those inland, more frequent frost may be a better motivator than fun-in-the-sun.
Of course, the opposite might be true for those on the coast — especially for those who can’t swim.
This year's race begins
Published in the Sept. 12 issue of the 100 Mile Free Press:
We have a federal government who can’t see west of Ontario and north of Sudbury; we have a provincial government who isn’t even sitting this fall to avoid questions over a wage scandal.
Canadians have a federal election hanging over their heads, with municipal races also revving up. And before we know it, British Columbians will be at the provincial polls as well.
But besides the scattering of civic-candidates’ signs and flyers, it’s always been federal elections’ bombardment on voters in every available media that can’t be ignored.
The Conservatives are not very good at keeping a secret; on the contrary, they are horrible. Long before the election was even called, citizens were receiving propaganda by way of electronic and paper mail — also known as spam and birdcage liner — touting the greatness of the Tories and the idiocy of Stéphane Dion’s Green Shift; they caused a big stir when they wanted to put an attack ad on Ontario gas station service screens, trying to sway customers with an over-used photo of Dion holding out in his upturned palms in an act of submissive shruggery.
Daily, in my email inbox, I receive transmissions from all parties blaming each other for everything from global warming to offending Canadians with pooping puffins; imagine if they worked as hard at the welfare of the country as they do at attacking each other?
The Conservatives say Dion is “a weak leader who doesn’t know where he stands and doesn’t know where he’s going.” The Liberals say, “Mr. Harper has proven that he’s entirely incapable of providing real leadership.”
They might as well be calling each other “buttface” in an elementary schoolyard.
The most unsurprising event in this race thus far is that David Emerson will not be seeking re-election.
Safe to say, his writing was on the wall — in block letters; the only way he’d have a hope in heck of regaining his seat is if he moved constituencies — perhaps to Zambia.
But, should the Tories be back in office, the close colleague of Harper is sure to find some sort of cushy employment in Ottawa.
The Conservatives, on their website, claim Canadians have a choice between two leaders, two visions and two records. “The choice is clear.”
Where is Jack Layton in all this? Is he really so off the map?
As far as leaders go, when you review the competition – the control freak and the flip-flopper – Layton, as an individual, looks great; too bad his party doesn’t look as appealing.
So who do we choose: the Dictator, the Muppet or the Mustache?
Harper wants you to know he is “a leader who has put the aspirations of families — and the pressures they face — at the heart of national decision-making.”
(Unless you’re gay or faced with an unexpected pregnancy.)
On the net, I think Dion said he wants to reconcile the people and the environment.
(But at what cost?)
Layton says “It’s time for a decent minimum wage, it’s time for a break on ATM fees, on affordable education, child care and prescription drugs.”
(But let’s go soft on criminals.)
But hey — there's still the Green Party (who aren't even allowed in the televised leaders' debate).
We have a federal government who can’t see west of Ontario and north of Sudbury; we have a provincial government who isn’t even sitting this fall to avoid questions over a wage scandal.
Canadians have a federal election hanging over their heads, with municipal races also revving up. And before we know it, British Columbians will be at the provincial polls as well.
But besides the scattering of civic-candidates’ signs and flyers, it’s always been federal elections’ bombardment on voters in every available media that can’t be ignored.
The Conservatives are not very good at keeping a secret; on the contrary, they are horrible. Long before the election was even called, citizens were receiving propaganda by way of electronic and paper mail — also known as spam and birdcage liner — touting the greatness of the Tories and the idiocy of Stéphane Dion’s Green Shift; they caused a big stir when they wanted to put an attack ad on Ontario gas station service screens, trying to sway customers with an over-used photo of Dion holding out in his upturned palms in an act of submissive shruggery.
Daily, in my email inbox, I receive transmissions from all parties blaming each other for everything from global warming to offending Canadians with pooping puffins; imagine if they worked as hard at the welfare of the country as they do at attacking each other?
The Conservatives say Dion is “a weak leader who doesn’t know where he stands and doesn’t know where he’s going.” The Liberals say, “Mr. Harper has proven that he’s entirely incapable of providing real leadership.”
They might as well be calling each other “buttface” in an elementary schoolyard.
The most unsurprising event in this race thus far is that David Emerson will not be seeking re-election.
Safe to say, his writing was on the wall — in block letters; the only way he’d have a hope in heck of regaining his seat is if he moved constituencies — perhaps to Zambia.
But, should the Tories be back in office, the close colleague of Harper is sure to find some sort of cushy employment in Ottawa.
The Conservatives, on their website, claim Canadians have a choice between two leaders, two visions and two records. “The choice is clear.”
Where is Jack Layton in all this? Is he really so off the map?
As far as leaders go, when you review the competition – the control freak and the flip-flopper – Layton, as an individual, looks great; too bad his party doesn’t look as appealing.
So who do we choose: the Dictator, the Muppet or the Mustache?
Harper wants you to know he is “a leader who has put the aspirations of families — and the pressures they face — at the heart of national decision-making.”
(Unless you’re gay or faced with an unexpected pregnancy.)
On the net, I think Dion said he wants to reconcile the people and the environment.
(But at what cost?)
Layton says “It’s time for a decent minimum wage, it’s time for a break on ATM fees, on affordable education, child care and prescription drugs.”
(But let’s go soft on criminals.)
But hey — there's still the Green Party (who aren't even allowed in the televised leaders' debate).
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