Raccoon and Stripper

I was driving off of the highway when I saw the ball of fur thrashing about on the street before me. I swerved, and my heart sank. I could make out the ringed-tail and the black legs of a large raccoon.
I wanted to pull over, but there were cars coming up fast behind me. I expressed my sympathy for the maimed raccoon to my passengers, who were not as soft-hearted as I. Behind us a vehicle managed to pull over, and I assumed they were going to offer the poor creature some aid...
We continued on our drive. Dropping my passengers off at a pub, I left them to move onto another, much more entertaining venue: a strip club.

....I smiled at the sparkles on my nipple as the raccoon took his last breath.